A Good Note

No erasers and paper napkins were consumed today by an unmedicated child. That's a positive thing right?

ARE Children Well-Behaved?

I currently read a post on NC teacher's of the year blog post. She blogged about US children misbehaving and where this behavior might come from. Of course, she mentioned media...DUH. Obviously the media has a HUGE influence on how our children act.

The girls in my classroom idolize Miley Cirus and any other Disney teenage girl. They sing their songs a recess, repeat their statements, snap and sass their fingers just like they do. This comes from the drive to be like these girls on the Disney Channel. As for my boys, I'm not sure I would say they idolize Miley or any other boys on the Disney channel. They may...but they won't admit it. Theirs is more of a "cool" image in front of others, and well, just not being able to control themselves.

The past couple of weeks have been horrid at school. My students have been bouncing off the walls and backsliding. I'm thinking to myself, "Am I backsliding? Is it me? Am I slacking on my discipline?" I follow throw with my consequences. Part of me wants to say, "Ok that's it. Let's call the office to come get you." But another part of me wants to say, "No. Work with this child. What is the office going to do?" I'm not saying I don't trust the office following through with the discipline because they do but sometimes I think there are somethings I should handle in the classroom before I send them away with the pink slip.

A question I have always had was, "Are the parents following through with their discipline at home?" I have a parent that says, "let me know and I'll handle the situation at home. You tell me if anything happens and I'll take care of it." I call the parent, let them be aware of the discipline and action that happened expecting the child to be somewhat regretful from the previous days actions. But sometimes they come in the next morning like nothing happened. This really frustrates me. I build my classroom with parent communication and always put this point across during Registration Day: "I need to know we're a team. We need to work TOGETHER to make this year SUCCESSFUL. If I don't have you BEHIND ME, we cannot be BEHIND your child. I'll do my part from 7:30 AM to 2:30 PM. Then I need you to take over." I get many nods and "Oh yes, Ms. Castro. I agree." BAH. Whatever. This year I had to be pretty blunt with my parents. I hate calling parents. I rather e-mail because I can think of my words. But I've had to come out in teacher conferences and say, "I'm sorry ma'am, but he is lying to you. That did not happen" or "Do you realize that she yelled and spit in my face? Is this going on at home?"


I'm just seriously getting close to the end of my string because it's the end of the year. I pray everyday for patience...or I do at least when I'm having to close my eyes and count to 10 before I explode.

I question a lot of parents...not only in my classroom but in general. There are some amazing parents out there. I have seen students come from these parents and I would say my parents did a pretty decent job with me. But then there are some parents where I sit and think, "What do you do with your child during the week? Could you tell me at least 5 of his spelling words? What mutliplication fact is your child struggling with? What unit are we studying in Social Studies? Did she tell you your 6 vocabulary words today in a sentence? When was the last time you read with your child for 20 minutes? Do you what upsets your child or what is making him so angry lately?"

Some parents could spit these answers off in less than 30 seconds. Then I know there are some that would have to scratch their head and say, "You know, I'm not quite sure..." I realize that some of my parents are single parents working 1 or 2 jobs, going back to school and working and I know it is crazy. But this is your child's education. This is your child's behavior. Follow through with actions. Follow through with discipline. Ask questions. Spend 15 minutes with your child before they go to bed. Such simple steps can make the BIGGEST difference in the classroom.

If I were a parent I would...
-awake my child an 45 minutes to an hour before we have to go to school.
-feed my child breakfast.
-give medicine if needed.
-make sure my child has their bookbag and they are prepared.
-say one positive thing to my child before they get out of the car.
-let their teacher beware of anything stressful going on at home (it's ok to share! we don't judge! well, we try not to but we'll be understanding)
-pick them up from school at a reasonable hour
-ask about their day and not just accept "It was good" statement.
-not only ASK but CHECK their folder and bookbag for homework and important notes
-help with homework.
-read for 20 minutes with my child
-eat dinner at the table
-make them go outside to play. limit video games
-BATHE.
-tuck into bed by 9 PM. no tv in the room.
-kiss goodnight.

The "Ology" of Jess

Stole from Jed...of course.

FOOD-OLOGY

What is your salad dressing of choice?
Itailian. And Jed was right-Kan Pai

What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
PF Changs or Maggianos.

What food could you eat for 2 weeks straight and not get sick of?
Evidently Pizza. I've been devouring pizza lately.

What are your pizza toppings of choice?
Depends on my mood: Pepperoni, Mushrooms, Onions OR Sun dried tomatoes, feta, and spinach.

What do you like to put on your toast?
grape jelly or lots of butter

TECHNOLOGY

How many televisions are in your house?
3

What color cell phone do you have?
silver gray

What does the first text message in your inbox say and who sent it?
"Ok Sounds good" -Josh

Who was the last person to call you?
Heather

BIOLOGY

Are you right-handed or left-handed?
right

Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
nope

What is the last heavy item you lifted?
my cello case. man alive i'm glad i live on the 2nd floor

BOLOGNA-OLOGY

If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
No

If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
Elana.

DUMB-OLOGY

How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
Not sure. Maybe 5 or so?

Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
Last Saturday 2:30 AM. Well, we didn't have a run in but I called them so they could have a run in with the people below us

Last person you talked to in person:
Steena

Favorite Month?
January!

CURRENT-OLOGY

Missing someone?
My Josie Bella

Mood?
exhausted. that mood between tired but too restless to sleep

What are you listening to?
Private Practice

Watching?
Private Practice

Worrying about?
This weekend.

RANDOM-OLOGY

What’s the last movie you watched?
Random ones but the latest has been "He's Just Not That Into You"

Do you smile often?
I try

Do you always answer your phone?
No

It’s four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it?
Steena.

If you could change your eye color what would it be?
BLUE!! Geez I always thought a girl with brown hair and blue eyes is gorgeous

What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic?
Cherry.

Do you own a digital camera?
Yes....that's dumb

Have you ever had a pet fish?
Yes still alive. Josh "won" it at the state fair in 2007. Still kicking.

Favorite Christmas song?
Oh Holy Night and Mary Did You Know

What’s on your wish list for your birthday?
GPS or Sat. Radio

Can you do push ups?
heck no. that's the one thing at the gym that i could NOT do no matter how hard i tired

Can you do a chin up?
heck no

Does the future make you more nervous or excited?
Both

Do you have any saved texts?
yep. 110. just deletes and erases automatically.

Ever been in a car wreck?
No

Do you have an accent?
I sure do. It's the reason why I can't speak Spanish properly.

What is the last song to make you cry?
God of this City. And the Revelation Song

Plans tonight?
I've gone and accomplished a 2 hr Orchestra Practice. I'm pooped.

Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
Oooo yeah.

Name 3 things you bought today?
Smoothie, Coffee, Biscuit.

Have you ever been given roses?
Yessss

Met someone who changed your life?
I Love Jebus and he makes me smile. And the ones I love change my life daily.

What song represents you?
Swan Dive by Sister Hazel

Name three people who might copy this.
Laura, Whito, and...that's it.

What were you doing 12 AM last night?
Sleeeeeping

What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
Ok it's 6:30. I need to leave 7 AM. What does NOT need ironing? COFFEE!

Mission: In Progress

Misson: "Evict 10 person family of Mexicans living below us that play Flamingco music Thursday at 7 PM til 3 AM Sunday while shooting fireworks inside the apartment while dealing pot on the porch" is in effect.

Will update as more events unfold this week.

First Monday Morning

Last night before I went to bed I was worried that I wasn't going to get up in time in the morning to make it to school. When I lived with mom, I was literally only a mile away from work. But now I'm 15 minutes away from work.

I set my alarm at 5:30 to wake up but I didn't get up till 5:50. One thing I don't like about the apartment is that I have to put Josie on a leash and walk her around the apartments till she does her business. And considering the pot-smoking mexicans living below us, I have to be on guard at all times...especially in the dark.

Well, I'm half a sleep, in my robe, with my phone in hand, ready to dial 911 if anyone attacks me. We're walking around the courtyard, shuffling along, when I hear...

"OOOOOOHHHHH MYYYYYY"

And I jump about 10 feet in the air. One of our downstairs neighbor was on her balcony (why at 5:50 AM I have no clue) and saw Josie. She then preceded to tell me how small and cute Josie was and just had to get a better look at her.

Goooood gracious. Do you think next time you could NOT scare me out of my skin like that???

Oh, and I made it in PLENTY of time to work. I got to work in 15 minutes, and had plenty of time to get my stuff done before the kids came in. GO ME.

Moving

Moving = Exhaustion.

We moved Friday to our new apartment in Duncan. I was so excited that morning. I kept jumping on the bed until Josh woke up. Then I screamed/sang "Rise and Shine..Give God the GLORY GLORY" to Christina and Will at 8 AM. Needless to say, I was PUMPED.

Well that died at like 12. We got Christina's stuff moved (mind you, she was not packed when we arrived) and stopped to eat at "The Crack" (Cracker Barrell. Apparently that's what Duncan people call it). We decided to call to tell the apartment people we were on our way...well I'm glad we did. We got to the apartments, signed our lease and OH! The office people can't find the apartment keys. Hmmm...I wonder where they would be? Oh that's right...the maintenance people have them because our apartment was still being FREAKIN CLEANED. The walls were wet from fresh paint, they were about to steam clean the carpet so we couldn't move in for 3 more hours.

We were NOT happy. So we talked to the people, and they gave us another apartment. By the time all that got situated out, it was after 3. (And they gave us our first month free)

Grrrr...

Came back here, to grab my stuff (Thank the Lord for Blake and Mandy) and we dumped my stuff finally at the apartment.

In the midst of all of this, I had to call Duke to get the power switched (and you know that cannot be just a 2 minute phone call) and call Charter to get our address switched. They were scheduled to come Friday on move in day to hook the cable up. But because we switched apartments, they had to place a whole new order which means no cable and internet until Tuesday.

Grrrr....

3 more trips to Wal-Mart, a trip to Bed Bath and Beyond (which I'll have to return that stuff now), Target and Dollar Tree I was dun-zo Saturday.

But I couldn't help but feel a little homesick. Holly said that was normal since my apartment isn't quite "home" yet.

We still have so much to do. We need more stuff for the living room but I'm out of money right now. I didn't want Josh to leave this afternoon because it's lonely at the apartment with no tv, internet...nothing to entertain me. (So, sorry darlin for being a jerk today.) I guess I could go to the fitness center and work out and run to watch my shows...

The good thing is that Lo is literally a mile away from me now and Mandy/Blake are maybe 10 minutes from me. So I do have friends in Duncan.

On another note, I'm here at Mom's drying towels and doing laundry because our dryer doesn't work. That's something else we gotta figure out.

Just think...I gotta do all of this a year from now...oooho joy.

The Final Deal

Tomorrow the divorce is final.

This battle has been going on for over a year now.

It's surreal.

I'm not sure what to think. Or what to say. I love my dad. I always will. I love him regardless of his actions. Josh's mom once told me, "Jess. There's a difference between accepting what your dad has done and approving of what he's done. You have to accept that what your dad has done is wrong. There's nothing you can change it. And you can't forgive your dad until you can accept it. Now, you don't have to approve of what your dad has done. And you probably never will. But until you learn the difference between accepting and approving, you won't be able to move on."

And she was so right. She probably told me that this past summer. And it has taken me about 6 months to finally understand what she meant. I haven't spoken to my dad since last February because I was so angry with him and hut. And I have finally gotten to the point where I think I can stomach a conversation with him. Now, it's not our old normal regular convos where it's full blown "Hey, this is what's happening, this is what's going on." It's more of, "Hey, how are you? Good. Talk to you later" kind of deal. I've learned to accept what dad has done. I can't change it. My mom can't change it, no matter how much she wishes she could change it. No one can change it. But we can't move on until we accept and acknowledge dad's actions. I've come to terms with reality. I've realized how deep love can hurt and how strong love can be. Dad hurt us deeply. But I realized after a year that I still love my dad, no matter what. Nothing can take away the things he has done for me and he still does for me. Nothing can take him away. I still believe that there are 2 different men living inside my dad. The man that I knew growing up and loving. Then there's a man that is being controlled by worldy things.

My mom, bless her heart, is a strong good woman. I don't think she realizes this enough. I hate and hurt to see her go through this tomorrow. But I know she's going to get through. I tell her this, but she doesn't see it. I want to tell her, "Mom. Look at your other friends. Look at your divorced or widowed friends. Are they living in a ditch? Are they a mad house mess? No. They are doing fine!" She has come such a long away and I'm so proud of her. She tells me, "You don't understand. You never will." And I don't understand what she's going through. I was without Josh for 2 weeks and that was the hardest 2 weeks of MY LIFE. So no, I could imagine what she's going through. But what I can imagine is a better life for her. A life that is built on trust, strength, honesty, integrity, love, good morals, and a God that showers love and blessings on her that will be never ending. I guess that's just me being my opptimistic self. I want the best for my mom, and this is the best. God would not and has not forsaken her during this time. If anything, God is even more present now in her life and relationship. Why would a God of love and strength leave a woman who has served Him all her life? He wouldn't. Why would God put a woman through what my mom has gone through and going through? Because we are humans. We live in a world of sin. And our sin and consequences affects and hurts everyone, even Christians. In the Bible, it quotes that we are put through times of trials and tribulation to produce character and endurance and strength. Wow. What a better way to go through a trial and hardships than this?

I firmly believe that there is a better reason and purpose for my mom's life. And my life too for that matter. My mom has a lot of fears of being alone. My greatest prayer for her is that she realizes that she isn't alone. I have no more words or actions to say or prove to her that she isn't alone. She may be alone physcially but she has more love and friends and family than any other 55 year old woman I know. I pray that I have that when I'm her age! What a blessing that is for her!

This blog has turned into a letter to her pretty much. I don't even know if she reads my blog. I just want her to know that even though I'm moving, she still can't get rid of me. I will always be there for her.

Just remember my family the rest of the week as we jump this one more hurdle. Pray for strength and love for my mom. Pray for my sanity and that I have the right words to say for my mom tomorrow. Pray for my mom's friends as they comfort her. She has a great group of friends and I'm so glad that they are there to encourage her.

“Love knows no limit to its endurance, no end to its trust, no fading of its hope; it can outlast anything. Love still stands when all else has fallen.”

"Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.”