Monday, July 19, 2010

Learning to cherish

Have you ever known of a time that you knew that time or even was eventually coming but you kind of refused to acknowledge that event?

Well I definitely faced that time tonight. One of my dearest, kindest, best friends Heather is moving to Florida this week. We went and had dinner for one last time at our favorite resturant in Greenville. I know she's only moving to FL and I'll see her again. Granted, we did not see each other every week or talk every day. BUT, I knew if I ever needed anything, she was just 10 minutes down the road. Now, it's 10 hours away. None the less, I am excited for her and this new part of her life.

Tonight at dinner, we were reflecting on some past events from our high school, college, and present days. What has always been so great about our relationship is that one of us always remember something that the other forgot. For example, we were walking up to Soby's and she said, "Hey, I wonder if creepy kitchen guy from Ellis' still works here?" And it instantly reminded me of creepy kitchen guy (this guy was always creating awkward and weird situations for HP when we worked at Ellis'). I then reminded her of the time when she called and blessed me out for not talking to her because I was so busy (I suck at priorities). At that time I was furious, then had a break down later on that night which resulted in a phone call from her, apologizing for her meanie attitude towards me. Ohh the fights between girls and best friends...

Of course, the conversation turned towards past relationships with old guys (this is because I was talking about my weird dreams I've been having lately about guys in my past...that's a whole other issue). We both agreed that if you cannot walk away from a relationship feeling like you learned something from that relationship, then you can't grow to be who you need to be. I felt like honestly tonight I could look back and recount each relationship with each guy and say I learned something from that relationship. But is it ok to go back and regret some parts of your past? Or can you not necessarily regret the past, but if you could go back you would kind of do some things over? I know you can't always play the what if game when it comes to what you would do in the past or for the future. But come on, it is fun to play. Of course, on our recounting of our relationships, it had me shuttering at the thought of some of them (what was I thinking of dating someone 10 years older than me when I was 18??). But at some point you have to cherish those times that you had because at one time that person meant something to you (small or big). I'm not saying that I would have taken back a relationship, but I do wonder what if I had put more work into a certain relationship or should I have just walked aways completely at the beginning? Now, don't get me wrong, I am more than thrilled and happy in my relationship with Josh. I could not be with someone more compatible. But walking down memory lane with Heather was a nice closing to our dinner.

I reminded Heather that with all our past, one that that she has along with some of my other closest friends, is that she was there through all of it. She has watched me have emotional breakdowns in her car at 11:30 at night to laughing with me (or at me, I could never tell) when I've done really dumb stuff. She always had a special talent of wedging me open with my secrets and closed up thoughts. That's one thing that I would not take back for the world--a friend that saw the good and ugly. So, after tonight, I finally learned that I have to cherish the moments we had in the past and cherish the moments that God continues to bless us with in the future. After all, that's what Skype is for.