"Heaven has it, Ms. Castro!"

I love innocence in 3rd graders. Earlier this week we were doing a pre-assessment so I could see what my students knew about South Carolina. I asked the following question: "Where can you find rows of beautiful homes?" And my sweet (annoying too) but oh so sweet Mitchell said, "HEAVEN!" Bless him. This made my heart sigh and smile.

Where is our innocence? Don't you miss the days as a child where you were carefree and you just DO things without thinking? My childhood best friend Katie had that carefree innocence. She just did what she wanted to do, didn't think about the consequences. Her dad was a contractor so we were always exploring new homes and doing things we weren't supposed to do. One day I jumped in a mud puddle and got my new tennis shoes allllll muddy. They went from blue to orange. Katie's mom said,"Did you think about what would happen to your new tennis shoes?" We replied, "No. We just thought it would be fun." Of course, we didn't get in trouble because we were always too sweet. :)

Now it brings me to present times. A group of us went to Turtle Back Mountain to hike the waterfalls. Of course, being with Steena, I HAD to jump the cliff. Part of me was like, "Just do it. If you were little with Katie, she would have pushed you off this cliff." Then another part of me was thinking, "Ok, what if I don't jump far enough out? What if I get pushed by the under current? What if I hit bottom and get hurt?" But you know, after much debating I thought, "What do I have to lose? Jump." And I jumped (after 10 minutes of swinging back and forth). And what a thrill. I loved it. But I can only do that about twice a year. Too mcuh anxiety.

Faith like a child. I doubt a lot of things, especially when I'm not sure if it something that I should embark on or not to embark on. I question a lot of things. I worry too. Not tooo much but I do stress over things that others think is too small. But what's small to them is big to me. Does anyone else ever want to scream, "You just don't understand!!!" And sometimes they never will. That's when you need to go by yourself, take a deep breath, and just work through. Look at me giving advice when I sometimes have trouble doing that.

But on the contrary, it's also good to have someone say "I completely understand." I have never met a teacher that relates to me more than Robin does, my mentor teacher. Last year I had a few cries (what first year teacher doesn't??) and she would just come in and say, "I completely understand. I did the exact same thing my first year." And I know she would understand because she's a teacher. It's just those that aren't teachers that offer their advice that honestly, I really don't care for it sometimes.

"inch by inch is a cinch. yard by yard is hard." words for my dad (ha.) actually, this was when my dad was wise and didn't flip off the deep end. and it's true. I tend to look WAY ahead instead of what is now. Am I the only one that does that? Hope not... For example, this whole ADEPT thing is stressing me. Because not knowing what is going on and when they are going to "pop" in drives me crazy. But one day at a time...

Ok I went from the topic of innocence to just plain rambling. So I'm going to shush now. I'm going to go make a flipchart, my new hobby. I might add that on facebook!