Proud to be an American

Daily I listen to "Ace and TJ" on KISS 95.1. I love these guys. They're conservative, they lay it out, and they don't care who they piss off. Plus they are hilarious.

I try to listen to their section "Stupid News" before I head to my job. Well I missed part of it today so I logged online to see what's so "stupid" in today's world. Well, I got a few laughs out of these news stories. Seriously, it makes me proud to live in America.

A MAN IS SUING A STRIP CLUB BECAUSE A STRIPPER'S SHOE FLEW OFF HER FOOT AND HIT HIM IN THE HEAD

If there are two things that Americans love, it's strippers . . . and suing each other.

Since that's the case, you could really call this guy . . . 35-year-old Charles Privette of Margate, Florida. . . a TRUE AMERICAN. Here's why . . .

On January 14th, Charles was enjoying himself at a local strip club called the Booby Trap.

But at some point in the night, a dancer's shoe flew off her foot while she was performing a pole dance, shattering a ceiling mirror . . . and hitting Charles in the face.

As a result, Charles suffered a small cut to his eyebrow . . . and he claims to have recurring headaches and nose bleeds, as well.

Now, Charles is suing the Booby Trap for at least $15,000 . . . because he says the stripper didn't perform her pole dance in a reasonably safe manner. (Tampa Bay's 10)


HERE ARE TODAY'S "MOTHER AND FATHER OF THE DAY"

Now it's time to hand out our "Mother and Father of the Day" awards. Let's start with the ladies . . . shall we?

#1.) On Wednesday, 31-year-old Shawnah Foster of Victorville, California, was arrested and charged with committing "corporal injury to a child".

Now, I know what you're thinking . . . Shawnah probably abused her kid, right?

Nope . . . she abused SOMEONE ELSE'S kid.

See, two Sundays ago, Shawnah . . . this moron . . . drove her 12-year-old daughter to a local park . . . so she could FIGHT another 12-year-old girl.

But when it started to look like Shawnah's daughter was going to lose the fight . . . Shawnah jumped in, grabbed the other girl by the hair . . . and SLAPPED her face.

Depending on how Shawnah is charged. . . she could get up to SIX years in prison. (Victorville Daily Press)

#2.) On Wednesday, police in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, were called to a strip club called Derriere's Gentleman's Club . . . after someone noticed a baby had been left in the back seat of a car in the parking lot.

Apparently, the little girl was buckled into her car seat, with the car doors unlocked . . . and the keys still in the ignition.

Anyway, the cops went into the club to find the owner of the car, and that's where they found the little girl's dad . . . 27-year-old Geoffrey Hale . . . smoking a cigarette and getting a lap dance.

So what was Geoffrey's excuse for leaving his baby in the car?

Basically, Geoffrey's 28-year-old baby-mama is a stripper at the club . . . and Geoffrey said he needed to get a cell phone number from her.

Since he didn't want to wake up the baby, or to bring her into the club, he decided the BEST thing to do . . . would be to leave her in the car alone. (Sun News)