What Comes Next?

Warning: This is a rambling deep post that may not make any sense to you what-so-ever.

Do you ever think about life after you die? I don't mean as in an "after life." But what will happen when I am dead and gone? I know the stories of Heaven and Hell and what it will take for me to have a place in Heaven. I'm not talking about just dying. I'm talking after everything is gone--Jesus has come back and taken us who belongs, and then there's those that were left.

What happens to them? What happens to the world?

I read the Rapture books when I was in middle school and those were pretty real to me. But will God just wipe out the Earth and have a new one? It's hard for my head to wrap around the concept of us not being HERE on Earth. Will God create a new one, or will we just go to Heaven? After we leave this earth, this is it. No more. Its eternity.

I almost feel like my life is a movie. That it's just playing. No pausing, no rewinding, no fast forward. And I feel like I'm just watching it happen. And that it's going to end, and I'm going to wake up and continue on with whatever I was doing. Does God think like that sometimes? That He's watching our lives like a movie, with the ticker count down on the side of how much more we have left on this earth?

It scares me. It really does. I've been thinking about this for a while now. Of life ending and what's to come. Sometimes I think I'm not going to live long enough to have kids...or see grandkids...or just grow old. I feel like Jesus is going to return. Then it's almsot like, "Ok here's my life. I need to make the most of it because I'm not coming back." I'm not saying I dread Heaven or anything like that, but this is what God has given me. Am I making the most with it as I should be?

No.

Does this make me drop to my knees, and pray for redemption?

No.

What's wrong with me? I've just had some serious thoughts going through my mind lately. With all these "little signs" that things are coming to an end that the Bible has predicted is freaking me out. I won't even watch the show on Discovery Channel or whatever it is about what will happen to the Earth after there are no more people. That scares the crapola out of me. It's almost like if I face these things, I have to come with grips that it is coming to end.

But I don't want it to. There's so much more I want, and need to do. God, I am not ready.